Lindsey Graham’s Flaming Hole

In the ~four weeks since Lindsey Graham pleased and even delighted most decent people by suddenly and unexpectedly dropping dead, there’s continued to be no credible public appearance by or word from his fellow Republican Senator/ghoul Mitch McConnell, who had already been totally absent from public view for nearly a month when Graham croaked, and was apparently last seen motionless under a sheet while being loaded onto an ambulance.

McConnell’s aides and collaborators (I won’t say “friends” because creatures like McConnell are not capable of genuine friendship with anyone) have attempted to subdue rumors of his eagerly-anticipated demise with tales of 20-minute conversations they’ve supposedly had with him, but since none of them has produced any evidence of said conversations, and all of them are inveterate liars, these claims have been no more believable than that stereotypical kid in middle school who says he has a girlfriend whom nobody can meet because she lives in Canada.

They even trotted out a couple of alleged photographs of McConnell with his honey trap wife, but even if the photos were real, he looked less conscious and alive in them than a dummy on display at the Vent Haven Museum of ventriloquism or a poorly-taxidermied animal.

I found his creepy, taut rictus particularly unnerving. It reminded me of the first design they used for Scarecrow on Batman: The Animated Series, the one Bruce Timm reportedly hated because he thought it wasn’t detailed enough.

Anyway, both Graham and McConnell have been horrible, irredeemable pieces of shit for as long as I’ve been aware of them, which is more than 20 years. Just as a certain morbidly obese, incontinent pedophile said at Graham’s funeral, Lindsey never saw a war he didn’t like, though maybe he would have if he’d ever actually experienced combat instead of spending his entire military “service” as a JAG Off like a lily-livered wuss. He certainly didn’t let his own limp-wristed, cowardly record stop him from condemning others to die on his own and Israel’s behalf, the mincing little chickenhawk.

Lindsey Graham (right) confronts Mitch McConnell (left) during a heated exchange.

As for McConnell, that shambling boggard is pretty much personally responsible for every awful thing the Supreme Court’s done for the last 10 years, since he illegally interfered in President Obama’s Constitutionally-mandated ability to fill a SCOTUS vacancy in 2016, then fast-tracked at least one of the above-mentioned incontinent pedophile’s nominees in an identical scenario afterwards, because he was a slimy, crooked hypocrite. He should’ve been drawn and quartered for treason after the former of those events, before the latter could even have occurred. That sure would’ve given us some certainty about his health status, huh?

Speaking of seditious conspiracy, each of those collaborators assuring everyone that he’s still alive, conscious, and capable of doing his job ought to be indicted for that, too.

I’d already been trying to come up with a good idea for a cartoon about McConnell going MIA before Graham kicked it, and afterwards, I thought it would be best to combine both topics in a way that acknowledged the finality of Graham’s circumstances while keeping McConnell’s ambiguous, just in case he turned up one way or the other before I could post this. A fellow artist had suggested the concept of an exorcism, and I realized I could use that situation to show one still putting up some resistance despite being driven back, while the other retreats into a blazing pit.

These two purported to be Christians, just like many other bloodthirsty Republican warmongers, so this gag turns that symbolism against them in order to illuminate what a lousy job they did of living up to Christ’s values specifically, in addition to calling them evil more generally.

The ladybugs swarming around Graham like flies around any other demonic presence or pile of manure are a reference to a story allegedly told by one of the numerous male prostitutes he was known to frequently patronize. While I won’t repeat it here, I will say that I wanted to draw the swarm arranged as if it were flying up his ass, like something out of an Hieronymus Bosch painting. Unfortunately, there didn’t seem to be room in the composition to do that alongside the flames.

Good riddance to both of these infernal malefactors. I’m glad so many of their ilk are just as elderly, because it means we can look forward to a lot more of them keeling over one by one in the very near future!